Q: Do you ever spend hours of your day running around with a big stick smashing pinatas and screaming at dragon-shaped clouds in the sky?

A: No.

Q: Do you ever spend hours of your day sitting your lazy butt in a chair and pretending to do these things in a video game?

A: Hellllllllllllllll yes.

Dragon Bash is in full-swing! (I might not have children, but I have the bod and the jokes.)

This is one of the best annual festivals in Guild Wars 2 (an ArenaNet mmorpg). There’s a giant arena filled with holographic versions of your favorite (and least-favorite) adversaries from across Tyria. There are dragon-shaped pinatas filled with a questionably-sourced taffy. Fireworks! Mount races. All you can eat, and all of it under the watchful eye of a huge holographic dragon. (“On Sunday, Sunday, Sunday..“)

Come celebrate Tyria’s liberation from the ancient winged sky behemoths by beating things with sticks and gorging yourself with food and drink. It’s the Hoelbrek way!

Aside from the aforementioned punch and pie, there are lots of prizes and still plenty of time to beat the snot out of stuff to get them.

Release your inner Norn while there’s still time! (Dragon Bash is part of the base game, accessible by free-to-play characters of any level.)